The Biggest Nob-Head Idea Of The Millennia - Brexit
How have we got to this? Brexit has seen off two Tory Prime Ministers to the point where it seems Britain is now desperate to 'out-stupid' America by 160,000 people (out of 60-odd million) electing a lying, fascist, over-privileged, misogynistic anglophobe with the social graces of eel shit and the intelligence of an anal bead.
It's like America has gone "Look! We've elected an Orange Vegetable as President! Nobody can out stupid us!" and Britain has said "Hold My Beer..."
We're going to leave on October 31st, no matter what has or has not been agreed, nobody has a clue what is going to happen, but more to the point, the wealthy that will engineer this brutalisation of the majority of the country, won't be impacted, or stand to make a shed load of cash from it.
We've empowered the far right and emboldened them to the point where people are being openly challenged about their heritage and 'right' to be in society because they 'look foreign'. We give dickheads like Tommy Robinson airtime, rather than a oneway ticket to fucking Jupiter, while anybody who doesn't toe this right wing nonsense is branded a 'snowflake' because apparently it is a bit nerdy and weedy to want things like equality, human rights and to be able to go to work without being called a nigger, queer, fag, paki, fucking woman or whatever else you want to get yourself worked up about today.
This all started because David Cameron is a fucking dickhead. Knowing his party was shedding votes to UKIP, Cameron decided to give the right wing what they wanted, a vote on EU membership. It was the only way he could hang on to power and of course, that matters more to the Tory Party, than, say, the future of the country.
What then followed was a classic "we won't be so fucking stupid to vote for this" campaign. Where the "Leave" Campaign used a litany of absurd promises and blatant propaganda to galvanise their supporters and those floating between the two to demonise the EU to the point of incredulity, while the Remain campaign saw Porcine-Loving Dave pop up at a library about 4 minutes before the vote and say "Well, we should remain shouldn't we? It's supposed to be good. I think..."
So when the results came in and 52% of Britain had fell for the lies, racism and utter shite spouted, Dave did the 'honourable' thing and fucked off to write his memoirs in his posh little writing hut, with a tidy pension banked away and plenty of cash coming in from those he favoured over the years in Number 10.
So it was left to May to deliver on Brexit because the moment that Brexit was confirmed by the vote, those that had done the most to sway public opinion, Farage, Johnson and Gove - were falling over themselves to not have to deal with the outcome. They knew what we did. People voted for Brexit WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT FUCKING BREXIT IS OR MEANT.
How could they? Nobody did. The Leave campaign was based on fairy stories, fantasy and blatant xenophobia. Fuelled by the right wing press' many years of hatred for the EU, they'd finally got their way, but there was only one small matter to resolve - NOBODY KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DO OR EVEN TO BEGIN TO GO ABOUT DOING IT.
So as soon as Brexit was confirmed, Johnson, Gove and Co quickly did a Pontius Pilate and washed their hands of it. So as May and her cronies then spent the next two years doing precisely the square root of fuck all to sort it out, only to spend the next year shitting themselves and trying to get a 'deal', only to be repeatedly stalled because nobody really knows what Brexit they want or voted for and what is acceptable to some, is not to others.
So after trying about four million times to get her shit deal through parliament (no, this is not the same deal I presented on Monday - Look, I added a comma in that sentence and I wrote Northern Ireland in Green Pen (which sends the Unionists fucking batshit angry)), May eventually did the 'honourable' thing and fucked off too. So now we have the real Endgame in play and the reason why Gove, Johnson and co fucked off after Brexit. Why be in charge of the biggest shit-show in British history as just a minister, when you can do it as PM?
Gove of course won't be involved. He was ousted by Johnson's supporters tactically voting for Hunt because Hunt is seen as an easier opponent. This is apparently 'fair' in politics. Ordinarily, I'd be outraged, but seeing as Gove is as much of a twat as Johnson, I couldn't care less.
So, we'll end up with a man who failed to present Have I Got News for You with any degree of ability and wit, running the entire country with his hand on the red button and in charge of a decision which will impact this country for at least 50-80 years.
The world thinks we have lost our minds. 52% of the country have. Although I feel a good number of them now realise that and may change their tune. Which is why, of course, you won't get a vote on any Brexit deal agreed because they KNOW this time, Leave would lose and lose heavily. Especially with the bumbling blonde bollock-brain Johnson in charge.
This is a man who argued so loud with his girlfriend, the police were called, WHILE HE WAS IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO BE PM and then refused to answer any questions on it! He will not admit how many children he has had, or with whom. He has been offensive to entire communities across the country, sidles up with the rich elite, has been complicit as someone organised for someone to be beaten up, he is misogynistic, racist, xenophobic and shows zero compassion for anybody other than himself.
Yet because he has had his hair cut, he's not so long fluffy mad Boris, but a statesman.
And don't misunderstand this - This is not about Brexit. This is about the Tory party trying to save one thing - itself. Those bastards are not one iota interested in you, me or the misery Brexit will bring. They are insulated from it all. They have their bulging bank accounts, trust funds, wealthy newspaper jobs and the rest to fall back on. Brexit won't stop them getting and doing what they want.
It will mean that the rich elite, who want Brexit to further feather their nests by rescinding that bloody awful EU nonsense about, you know, fair working conditions and pay, making people not die on the job and being able to call foreigners names, well they'll be fine and dandy, and make a few bob out of it too. Boris will get his cut of that I'm sure. It won't stop them doing anything they want.
But it will stop you. It will impact you negatively. You will be much, much worse off. And I'm not sure that this is the Brexit you voted for.
But you will have a Blue Passport, so fucking hooray for that!
So call me a Snowflake if you like. That's fine. But if you think this is fine because "Brexit means Brexit" then you are an even bigger dickhead than the person who will shortly be in charge of trying to sort it.
And if you take offence at that. I don't care. I'm washing my hands of it all and going to write some memoirs.
It's like America has gone "Look! We've elected an Orange Vegetable as President! Nobody can out stupid us!" and Britain has said "Hold My Beer..."
We're going to leave on October 31st, no matter what has or has not been agreed, nobody has a clue what is going to happen, but more to the point, the wealthy that will engineer this brutalisation of the majority of the country, won't be impacted, or stand to make a shed load of cash from it.
We've empowered the far right and emboldened them to the point where people are being openly challenged about their heritage and 'right' to be in society because they 'look foreign'. We give dickheads like Tommy Robinson airtime, rather than a oneway ticket to fucking Jupiter, while anybody who doesn't toe this right wing nonsense is branded a 'snowflake' because apparently it is a bit nerdy and weedy to want things like equality, human rights and to be able to go to work without being called a nigger, queer, fag, paki, fucking woman or whatever else you want to get yourself worked up about today.
This all started because David Cameron is a fucking dickhead. Knowing his party was shedding votes to UKIP, Cameron decided to give the right wing what they wanted, a vote on EU membership. It was the only way he could hang on to power and of course, that matters more to the Tory Party, than, say, the future of the country.
What then followed was a classic "we won't be so fucking stupid to vote for this" campaign. Where the "Leave" Campaign used a litany of absurd promises and blatant propaganda to galvanise their supporters and those floating between the two to demonise the EU to the point of incredulity, while the Remain campaign saw Porcine-Loving Dave pop up at a library about 4 minutes before the vote and say "Well, we should remain shouldn't we? It's supposed to be good. I think..."
So when the results came in and 52% of Britain had fell for the lies, racism and utter shite spouted, Dave did the 'honourable' thing and fucked off to write his memoirs in his posh little writing hut, with a tidy pension banked away and plenty of cash coming in from those he favoured over the years in Number 10.
So it was left to May to deliver on Brexit because the moment that Brexit was confirmed by the vote, those that had done the most to sway public opinion, Farage, Johnson and Gove - were falling over themselves to not have to deal with the outcome. They knew what we did. People voted for Brexit WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT FUCKING BREXIT IS OR MEANT.
How could they? Nobody did. The Leave campaign was based on fairy stories, fantasy and blatant xenophobia. Fuelled by the right wing press' many years of hatred for the EU, they'd finally got their way, but there was only one small matter to resolve - NOBODY KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DO OR EVEN TO BEGIN TO GO ABOUT DOING IT.
So as soon as Brexit was confirmed, Johnson, Gove and Co quickly did a Pontius Pilate and washed their hands of it. So as May and her cronies then spent the next two years doing precisely the square root of fuck all to sort it out, only to spend the next year shitting themselves and trying to get a 'deal', only to be repeatedly stalled because nobody really knows what Brexit they want or voted for and what is acceptable to some, is not to others.
So after trying about four million times to get her shit deal through parliament (no, this is not the same deal I presented on Monday - Look, I added a comma in that sentence and I wrote Northern Ireland in Green Pen (which sends the Unionists fucking batshit angry)), May eventually did the 'honourable' thing and fucked off too. So now we have the real Endgame in play and the reason why Gove, Johnson and co fucked off after Brexit. Why be in charge of the biggest shit-show in British history as just a minister, when you can do it as PM?
Gove of course won't be involved. He was ousted by Johnson's supporters tactically voting for Hunt because Hunt is seen as an easier opponent. This is apparently 'fair' in politics. Ordinarily, I'd be outraged, but seeing as Gove is as much of a twat as Johnson, I couldn't care less.
So, we'll end up with a man who failed to present Have I Got News for You with any degree of ability and wit, running the entire country with his hand on the red button and in charge of a decision which will impact this country for at least 50-80 years.
The world thinks we have lost our minds. 52% of the country have. Although I feel a good number of them now realise that and may change their tune. Which is why, of course, you won't get a vote on any Brexit deal agreed because they KNOW this time, Leave would lose and lose heavily. Especially with the bumbling blonde bollock-brain Johnson in charge.
This is a man who argued so loud with his girlfriend, the police were called, WHILE HE WAS IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO BE PM and then refused to answer any questions on it! He will not admit how many children he has had, or with whom. He has been offensive to entire communities across the country, sidles up with the rich elite, has been complicit as someone organised for someone to be beaten up, he is misogynistic, racist, xenophobic and shows zero compassion for anybody other than himself.
Yet because he has had his hair cut, he's not so long fluffy mad Boris, but a statesman.
And don't misunderstand this - This is not about Brexit. This is about the Tory party trying to save one thing - itself. Those bastards are not one iota interested in you, me or the misery Brexit will bring. They are insulated from it all. They have their bulging bank accounts, trust funds, wealthy newspaper jobs and the rest to fall back on. Brexit won't stop them getting and doing what they want.
It will mean that the rich elite, who want Brexit to further feather their nests by rescinding that bloody awful EU nonsense about, you know, fair working conditions and pay, making people not die on the job and being able to call foreigners names, well they'll be fine and dandy, and make a few bob out of it too. Boris will get his cut of that I'm sure. It won't stop them doing anything they want.
But it will stop you. It will impact you negatively. You will be much, much worse off. And I'm not sure that this is the Brexit you voted for.
But you will have a Blue Passport, so fucking hooray for that!
So call me a Snowflake if you like. That's fine. But if you think this is fine because "Brexit means Brexit" then you are an even bigger dickhead than the person who will shortly be in charge of trying to sort it.
And if you take offence at that. I don't care. I'm washing my hands of it all and going to write some memoirs.
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