The Boudoir of the Grape
Here's a thought for you. I don't like alcohol very much. Let's not misunderstand this. I occasionally enjoy a cold beer (much rarer now since I've been asking the fat fairies to harvest the lard from my arse), a glass of wine or maybe, if pushed a Southern Comfort or nice Single Malt whisky. But I could quite happily give this up forever tomorrow. The problem is, I think, that I don't really understand the subtle differences that so many people witter on about. Let's start with wine for example. If you are particularly unfortunate, you may catch that god-awful irritating, plum-in-the-mouth frizzy haired bint, Jilly Goulden wittering on about "the bouquet of fresh Thyme and Mint echoing through the velvety undertone of Saffron Walden..." or some such nonsense... So I try it and think... "Umm... It's wine." That is my level of understanding. Wine comes in three flavours, Red (which is purple), White (which is yellow) and Rose (which is Pin...