Brainclouds
English is a language that is in a constant state of evolution. Words come into being through use in society and 'catching on', or through invention in a book, television show or other form of popular culture.
One of the most famous being a group of gorillas being labelled a "flange" simply because it was stated in a famous Not the 9 O'Clock News sketch in the 1980s. This summer we've had the "Mobot" for Mo Farah's post race celebrations and doing a "Gove" which is basically being an itinerant, vacuous, moronic, imbecilic fuckwit who spends his days ruining the lives of millions and smiling slimly throughout as if he knows best all along.
So, I'd like to add some of my own made up words to that the ever growing English language and here are some of my creations.
Brainclouds - Another word for when you feel depressed, miserable, or so utterly fed up you just have to post it to Facebook and in a bewildering sense of emotic kamikaze, bring as many other people on there down with you.
Futtamucker - Someone (of usually limited intellect, who buys The Sun and likes Burberry) that only uses one adjective or adverb to describe anything and it begins with the letter "F" and is usually four letters long.
Lavvyecho - That annoying noise you get when you go to a public toilet and other people are there and no matter how much you try and do things quietly, there is always that tell-tale echo that alerts all present to just what you are doing.
Dicksplot - Politician
Megadicksplot - Politician with a small amount of power who wields it utterly stupidly, ie most of them.
Autoragia - The condition which afflicts many individuals who turn from polite, friendly and well-mannered people into raging tossers as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car.
Mcstarvin' - What you are approximately 20 minutes after finishing a meal from McDonalds.
Dinnageeaphook - When a Scottish person doesn't care.
Balitch, Asitch and Nobitch - That annoying tickly feeling men get just south of the abdominal area when walking in public places that demands scratching, but you can't do so acceptably or hygienically.
Fucktwit - An idiot with access to a Twitter account.
Leadhead - That feeling on Monday morning when your alarm goes off and your brain and body won't play ball.
Googlenius - Someone who seems very clever on a computer thanks to a search engine, but in real life is as thick as two short planks and has the social skills of a gutted halibut.
Googlanus - Someone who is very thick on a computer and is equally dense in real life too.
Fingerfreud - When you type something accidentally that would be a Freudian slip if said, but you still post it anyway. Such meaning to type "Hi, nice to see you today, we'll have to have another coffee again soon", and instead typing "I want to dribble copiously over your naked Chumbawumbas"
Norkfield - A ladies chestal area. (I've lots of these, it's an area of expertise, but I'll limit it to the one for now)
Jezzabezza - Someone who thinks the sun shines out of Clarkson's arse and actually thinks he would be a great leader because "he talks common sense".
In addition to single words, there are some "Doing a..."and "Getting a..." phrases I'd like to add into general usage too:
Doin' a Carr - Not paying for what you should then blaming any number of things bar your own tight-fistedness for what happened.
Doin' a Gove - Fucking everything up, laughing and not giving a shit.
Doin' a Clegg - Standing idly by watching and not helping while someone close by makes a complete hash of things.
Doin' a Roon - Visiting the hair clinic before paying a granny for some hot fun. (Admittedly this may not be an everyday usage one for most people).
Getting an Osborne - Walking into a place packed with people thinking everyone likes you, when in actual fact everyone thinks you are a stuck up, malodorous, self-serving twunt.
Doin' a Jezza - Saying something vaguely controversial, offensive, racist, hateful or hurtful because you think it will increase your popularity with Sun and Daily Mail readers.
One of the most famous being a group of gorillas being labelled a "flange" simply because it was stated in a famous Not the 9 O'Clock News sketch in the 1980s. This summer we've had the "Mobot" for Mo Farah's post race celebrations and doing a "Gove" which is basically being an itinerant, vacuous, moronic, imbecilic fuckwit who spends his days ruining the lives of millions and smiling slimly throughout as if he knows best all along.
So, I'd like to add some of my own made up words to that the ever growing English language and here are some of my creations.
Brainclouds - Another word for when you feel depressed, miserable, or so utterly fed up you just have to post it to Facebook and in a bewildering sense of emotic kamikaze, bring as many other people on there down with you.
Futtamucker - Someone (of usually limited intellect, who buys The Sun and likes Burberry) that only uses one adjective or adverb to describe anything and it begins with the letter "F" and is usually four letters long.
Lavvyecho - That annoying noise you get when you go to a public toilet and other people are there and no matter how much you try and do things quietly, there is always that tell-tale echo that alerts all present to just what you are doing.
Dicksplot - Politician
Megadicksplot - Politician with a small amount of power who wields it utterly stupidly, ie most of them.
Autoragia - The condition which afflicts many individuals who turn from polite, friendly and well-mannered people into raging tossers as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car.
Mcstarvin' - What you are approximately 20 minutes after finishing a meal from McDonalds.
Dinnageeaphook - When a Scottish person doesn't care.
Balitch, Asitch and Nobitch - That annoying tickly feeling men get just south of the abdominal area when walking in public places that demands scratching, but you can't do so acceptably or hygienically.
Fucktwit - An idiot with access to a Twitter account.
Leadhead - That feeling on Monday morning when your alarm goes off and your brain and body won't play ball.
Googlenius - Someone who seems very clever on a computer thanks to a search engine, but in real life is as thick as two short planks and has the social skills of a gutted halibut.
Googlanus - Someone who is very thick on a computer and is equally dense in real life too.
Fingerfreud - When you type something accidentally that would be a Freudian slip if said, but you still post it anyway. Such meaning to type "Hi, nice to see you today, we'll have to have another coffee again soon", and instead typing "I want to dribble copiously over your naked Chumbawumbas"
Norkfield - A ladies chestal area. (I've lots of these, it's an area of expertise, but I'll limit it to the one for now)
Jezzabezza - Someone who thinks the sun shines out of Clarkson's arse and actually thinks he would be a great leader because "he talks common sense".
In addition to single words, there are some "Doing a..."and "Getting a..." phrases I'd like to add into general usage too:
Doin' a Carr - Not paying for what you should then blaming any number of things bar your own tight-fistedness for what happened.
Doin' a Gove - Fucking everything up, laughing and not giving a shit.
Doin' a Clegg - Standing idly by watching and not helping while someone close by makes a complete hash of things.
Doin' a Roon - Visiting the hair clinic before paying a granny for some hot fun. (Admittedly this may not be an everyday usage one for most people).
Getting an Osborne - Walking into a place packed with people thinking everyone likes you, when in actual fact everyone thinks you are a stuck up, malodorous, self-serving twunt.
Doin' a Jezza - Saying something vaguely controversial, offensive, racist, hateful or hurtful because you think it will increase your popularity with Sun and Daily Mail readers.
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